KRUSHING THE TOUR: Stage 2

Me?

 I wrote the following part of the post last night, hours before the actual stage even started:

"Today's stage was pretty predictable. The French teams showed themselves in the early breakaway, but the sprinter's teams brought them back, and Cavendish won the sprint."

Am I a soothsayer? Did the ghost of Tours de France past visit me? Nope. These early, flat boring stages are so predictable and retarded, anyone can do this at home.

The Lotto-Beli-"Soul Train" delivered Greipel to a pretty close sprint with his former boss.

The only things I could not have predicted were:
- Tony Martin and Anthony Roux's silly-looking dangling right hands.
- The great job the Lotto-Beli-"Soul Train" did for Greipel, making the sprint closer than I expected.
- The sheer hideousness of Morkov's polka-dot helmet.
- The fucken NERVE Saxo-off team has allowing him to wear it in the first place. He has 3 fucken point in the KOM! One, two, three. That's it. A real disgrace to the Dots.
- Anderson Cooper coming out of the closet. Wait, I predicted that 14 years ago.