KRUSHING THE TOUR: Stage 5

Today's stage felt longer than the 100 Years War

Well, I don't wanna say I told you so, but I told you so.


With the chances of Mr. Cash actually raising from the grave and showing up at the end of the stage to perform any of his hits (or Pablo Urtasun surprising the sprinters) being slim to none, today's stage was SO boring, Carlton Kirby and David Harmon from Eurosport actually said, and I quote "That's how bored we are," while going on and on about the 100 Years War.

Newsworthy?
- Two in a row for Greipel and his  Lotto Beli-Soul Train®. What's your excuse now, Cav?
- J.J. Haedo and Tom Veelers had an awesome sprint.
- Marcel Kittel and his white poopie-shorts abandoned the Tour.
- Farrar gets caught up in a crash, again. He has turned into this year's Denis Menchov. Anyway, he finished dead last, over four minutes down, and then went all cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs after the stage, blamed Veelers for his crash and decided to head to the Argos-Shimano bus and attempt a Carlos Barredo on him. It didn't work.




So, was Farrar right? Who really cares, but here's a video that shows the crash. Pause it 0:03 seconds in, right in the middle of the screen. Is Veelers leaning into Farrar? I don't know. If anything, The two Lampre riders slightly veered right and were the ones who caused the crash. Whichever way, THANK YOU, TYLER! That 0:36 clip was way more exciting than anything else that happened on the road today.





Now that we didn't settle that at all, there's something else I wanted to point out: the word "carnage" gets thrown around way to easily in cycling. Let's not exaggerate, people. Four guys going down, with no fractures, is most definitely (yeah, I know that's redundant) not "carnage." Want carnage? Read some book about the 100 Years War.

Now, I wish I could tell you that tomorrow is gonna be better. I wish I could sing Tomorrow to you all, like the little annoying orphan Annie. I wish I could tell you the sun will come up tomorrow... but sadly, it won't. Get ready for dumb and dumber in the commentary box (whichever feed or language you chose to watch, it doesn't really matter) making up shit to talk about while the rest of us check our email or do the dishes.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

PD: Rob Goris of team Accent.Jobs-Willems Veranda's passed away Wednesday night of a heart attack in his hotel room. He was in France as a guest of VRT (Flemish TV). Goris was 30-years old. Bummer.

Rob Goris. 1982 - 2012