Friday, January 6, 2012

2012 Cycling Team's Promotional Pictures

As I write this, there's still many teams that have not released official pictures of their 2012 squads, but I could not contain myself. There's just way too many lulz to be had. I promise to do another post with the remaining teams, if I see pics that are worthy of my ridicule. Let the aforementioned ridicule begin.

Van Der Sande (in heavy Flemish accent): "Oh Got, pleez dohn't lett ouar sponzer be ahngry that vee tahke pihctur on black und vait, zereforr undermahining zee hole ideea of sponzerchip."

Horrible stock image of "modern city:" Check! - Third rate Photoshop work: Check! - Cancellara as the champion of Luxembourg, instead of Switzerland: Check!

Photographer to his assistant: "The ugly one with the unbelievably long neck, what's his name? Ah, ok." - Photographer to Wouter Poels: "Mr. Poels, you go in front. You will pose in front of this green screen that will later be replaced by a picture of a manor in Massachussets. In order to make the picture look fake, the background image will not match you guys' image in color, saturation or angle, ok? Now, gimme Blue Steele, guys!"

2012 Omega Pharma QuickStep Synchronized Swimming team

It wouldn't feel like January without a new version of this shot.
Boonen, to himself: "I'm so glad I still have a job, after last year's horrible debacle of a season."

Freire is excited to be part of the cast of The Road 2, Electric Boogaloo


Oh, c'mon, now! Vacansoleil doesn't have a budget for Photoshop so they are doing silhouhettes in MS Paint?

Can't really hate on this pseudo-inspirational picture. I actually really like that jersey.

I guess Michael Matthews has been hanging out with Rosie O'Donnell.

Madrazo: "Welcome to my awesome Lego sand castle"

Cavendish: "Kiss my arse Wiggo, for I am king of this team! My train will reign supreme in July!"
Wiggins: "Fuck, there goes my bloody 2012 season."

Submitted without comment.

I guess my brother Klaus (Cycling Inquisition) isn't the only Colombian who sports adult braces.

He, he. There's an eagle coming out of his pants. He, he.

Caja Rural presenting their new signing, Mani (short for Manuel) Quin.

Bill Clinton getting ready for another season.

"If YOU have any races for sale, look no further! We buy races! Call 1.800.VINO.BUY!"

I don't think that Astana making fun of the retarded is very nice.

Appollonio's hair looks just like my co-workers. My co-worker is a 54 year-old half Jamaican woman with serious mental issues.

Of all the terrible, horrible, unforgivable effects Glamour Shots offers, the "Black and White/Color" one has got to be the worse. Just looking at this picture hurts my eyes!

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